Wednesday, 20 May 2009

Tempting Fate

Every time i say that i feel better in myself i always seem to come crashing down and stay down for days on end! so i'm not going down that road! but you all know what i mean.
I have been quite busy the last few days basically trying to sort out my bathroom that really wanted decorating and repairing years ago but because our life became quite hectic at times we couldnt be bothered! it was clean, but recently it has deteriorated even further! much too my embarrasment at times so i thought oh well i had better make a start with the help of my father in law, i must admit i am useless at DIY mainly because it bores me! i'm much better on a computer, but the job has to be done and i will be relieved when it's done.
So sorting the bathroom has been a distraction but like i said i'm not going to tempt fate! so i will change the subject! is it me or has the weather in the U.K. been crazy! Rain...stop...rain...stop and what is going on with our MPs why should we vote for them at all it is fascinating stuff watching the news seeing them squirm! who can we trust in this crazy country?
Night folks.

Anxiety Level Low

Tuesday, 12 May 2009

A tough day

I had to take Alice for a thyroid test yesterday, i had been worrying about it for some time! Then poor old Alice had a double blow on the day as part of her life skills she had to go to the leisure centre with the school which was a change from her normal routine at school! and it was where i had to pick her up from to take her to the hospital, when we arrived at the hospital the waiting room was crawling with toddlers screaming and banging and consequently Alice was starting to really struggle with this which put her in a negative state of mind when she had to go and see the nurses, but credit to them when we went in they new exactly what to do and i was amazed how they did it as Alice by then was very anxious and as this is all new to me so was i, but she tried to be brave for me as i had asked her to in the morning but as the tears started to flow i couldn't help mine! i felt so sorry for her! it's a very scary world for autistic children and to lose their mummy it is unimaginable and i don't know wether my tears were for her or my wife but probably both, i felt guilty for taking her back to the leisure centre after what she had just gone through but then i thought she's nearly fifteen she needs testing things like this to toughen her up a bit! but as i drove home after i had dropped her off my tears started again and i think this time for my wife! i felt so alone and so lost in a very scary world for me and my daughter.

Anxiety Level Medium

Saturday, 2 May 2009

Beautiful Day

What a beautiful day today as i type this post! and i have felt better in myself the last few days mainly due to being quite busy with various things, but i know the negative thoughts are just around the corner and i have got Alice off school for a few days with it being bank holiday weekend!
I have got us a nice Pizza for lunch and i intend on taking Alice out somewhere after that, she wont be very happy about leaving the security of her new room as she calls it which is just a spare room thats got everything she needs in it i.e. DVDs, Videos, Books, Toys, it's a real haven for her, too much really as she is very reluctant to go out!
So this is a bit of a short post more of an update really, bye for now.

Anxiety Level Low