Tuesday, 12 May 2009

A tough day

I had to take Alice for a thyroid test yesterday, i had been worrying about it for some time! Then poor old Alice had a double blow on the day as part of her life skills she had to go to the leisure centre with the school which was a change from her normal routine at school! and it was where i had to pick her up from to take her to the hospital, when we arrived at the hospital the waiting room was crawling with toddlers screaming and banging and consequently Alice was starting to really struggle with this which put her in a negative state of mind when she had to go and see the nurses, but credit to them when we went in they new exactly what to do and i was amazed how they did it as Alice by then was very anxious and as this is all new to me so was i, but she tried to be brave for me as i had asked her to in the morning but as the tears started to flow i couldn't help mine! i felt so sorry for her! it's a very scary world for autistic children and to lose their mummy it is unimaginable and i don't know wether my tears were for her or my wife but probably both, i felt guilty for taking her back to the leisure centre after what she had just gone through but then i thought she's nearly fifteen she needs testing things like this to toughen her up a bit! but as i drove home after i had dropped her off my tears started again and i think this time for my wife! i felt so alone and so lost in a very scary world for me and my daughter.

Anxiety Level Medium


Rachel's Diary said...

Hi gary.... bless u..gosh ur being so brave arnt you... u r being so great for Alice u know...i know its hard hunny but u r doing such a gud job xxxxx big hugs!!!!!!

Gary said...

Thankyou Rachel i'm trying so hard to keep her happy but it is tough xxxx

diver said...

Written from the heart Gary, really touching. It sounded like a tough day for both of you, one that sent you both right out of your comfort zones. But it sure was impressive the way you pushed through the sadness and anxiety and got that job done.